Under Desert Stars   Elen síla lúmenn’ omentielvo

While I worked away on book two of the War of the Second Iteration yesterday, I had one of those moments during which I was completely aware of how much I enjoy doing this sort of thing. The production side of indie publishing can be a bit of a pain (especially waiting for POD proof copies), but the actual writing, and the process of revision than pulls it all together, these are a source of deep satisfaction. I’d use the word “joy,” but for some reason it falls short of what I experience. I have these moments on a regular basis, especially when I hit a rough spot and then successfully think my way through it. It’s such an amazing feeling when that works!

Later in the evening, while enjoying a glass of wine, I found myself thinking of the years just before I decided to give the whole independent publishing thing a try. I’d been selling magazine articles and essays for years before going back to school to finish my degree, but could never seem to get a break on the book publishing scene. I kept trying, for more years than I like to admit. Came a time when it just wasn’t possible to justify the next attempt. I set writing aside and tried to go on to other things, by way of the degree process. There’s an old say about getting knocked down three time but getting up four. After a while, finding a way to avoid being knocked down in the first place seems more sensible. Unfortunately, the switch took me from one dead-end to another, with a resulting lack of employment into the bargain.

Giving up writing had more insidious effects, emotionally. I’m not going to write about those, not yet.

Then along came Kindle and its imitators, and the digital direct publishing so-called revolution. These matters had been going on for a few years before I paid much attention to them. Came the day a friend told me of her efforts to go the indie publish route, and of her initial experiences doing so. I’d heard of the Kindle, but was not aware people could now side-step the publishing industry and do their own thing. It sounded too good to be true, but I looked into it anyway, and discovered that the entire concept of “self publishing,” once upon a time an admission of defeat wrapped up in denial, was being transformed. That same friend suggested that I dig out one of the novels I had in the proverbial trunk, clean it up, and turn it loose to see what might become of it. (Thanks, Frankie! http://frankierobertson.wordpress.com/ ) I followed that advice, rewrote and revised one of those previous projects and now The Luck of Han’anga is out there.

It’s a kick to see a book out there and available to readers. It feels good. But far more gratifying still is this feeling of being a writer again, unfettered by the doubts that plagued me each time I boxed up a manuscript and put it in the mail. I may meet no greater success as an indie author, in the long run, but I will know for certain one way or the other. The books will be out there, finally. I won’t be sitting here growing older and wondering “What if…?” And in the mean time, I’m writing again. That just feels good!